~Pain and Confusion~
Something inside of me hurts…
Like some part of me is being squeezed so tightly it’s about to burst.
I can’t bear it.
Why? Why do I feel like this?
Tears escape from my eyes and roll down my cheek.
A cry for help forms upon my lips but the sound does not escape.
It hurts so much that I wish to call out your name.
My mind and body are not the same.
An internal battle rages
And I feel as though all I can do is sit on the sidelines
And watch as they tear into one another’s flesh.
What do I want from you?
What do you want from me?
I know the answer to neither of these questions.
I continue to live in this transient moment
Hoping for it to last all that much longer,
Knowing that one day,
Regardless of how I may feel
It will come to an end.
Sometimes I have these terrible feeling that catch hold of me and I feel like I need to write it out in order to have some understanding of it. I suppose this is the product of one such moment. I won’t pretend like i know what I’m doing when it comes to writing but hope that whomever may read this can understand it or maybe be even better, feel it.
I watched this over the summer and fell in love with the show. For anyone who loves Korean dramas, this is a must watch. (open in full screen for full effect ^,^)
*sigh* If only I had hair like this.
Another one of my random finds on the net. There’s so much raw emotion in this I can’t help but love it. <3 You can’t really see it well on my background so feel free to click the pic and get a better view ^.^
To be quite honest I don’t really even understand why it is that I started an account on Tumblr. In one of my many random encounters on the net, I stumbled upon this site. I’ve always had this romantically fantastical idea that I would start up a blog that could make people, even if it was just for one infintesimal second, question what it means to live ones life. And though this may sound pathetic, perhaps, in some small way, that would mean that I mattered. That I exist.
It seems so often that I see people go through life in something of a daze. Whether it’s someone who’s in a relationship with someone they’re not even sure they love or an endless job that they hate yet can’t quite for one of their numerous excuses.
Like it’s all some master puppeteers play. All of us led by our intangible strings, following the invisible hands movements without any thought of what we may want or feel. Forever trapped in an endless play, in which we have no part.
Birth. Friendship. Love. Marriage. Divorce. Growing old. Death.
Perhaps no one can deal with these supposed inevitabilities and so they decide to simply go along with the current, I can’t. You may or may not agree with me, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of living though life with such a set formula and I refuse to do so.
I don’t really know how long I can do this and I doubt that it can last forever, hell who can beat death, but I don’t want to live life like a zombie. I don’t want to listen to people who will judge or criticize me or tell me how to live my life. Screw it. I want to live my life the way I want to, despite all of my mistakes or triumphs.
If anyone is reading this, maybe that’s why I started this little tumblr. To help or maybe even inspire you to do the same thing. Don’t let others tell you how to live your life, because when they do succeed it no longer is yours.
WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?-tumblrbot
I don’t know if it’s an actual memory or something I’ve created over the years, but I remember being small enough that I had to stand on a chair to reach the top of the kitchen counter. It was such simply task, washing dishes. But for some reason I was crying. I don’t remember the source of my anguish just the indelible desire to not let anyone see my tears. Now that i think about it most of my early memories are relatively sad ones. It makes me wonder though, why is it that humans seem to remember the things most painful to them while forgetting the happy moment we strive so hard for?
Do not fear Death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity…
Bull (Cowboy Bebop)